Hello, and welcome to Rock To Recover!

Along with being the founder of Rock To Recover, I am also a Certified Addiction Technician, a Certified Anger Management Specialist, and the President of Moving Mountains Recovery LLC. I work with Slopeside Counseling to provide group counseling for clients who are court ordered, mostly due to substance abuse related events. I’m also a board member for the nonprofit KK Fearless and a permanently disabled Firefighter / Paramedic. I have achieved sobriety from alcohol dependence since September of 2020. I would like to share my story with you in an effort to help reduce the stigma associated with mental health and substance use difficulties.

I ended my Firefighter / Paramedic career with a disability retirement resulting from cumulative, or complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. I considered my work as a Firefighter to be a calling, and I truly loved my job and the opportunities it gave me to help others. However, the large number of horrendous emergency scenes that I was involved in began to take their toll on me. My drinking went from a social activity to self-medication, but I was not aware of this at the time. Then came the run that ultimately exceeded my capacity to compensate, and I began having flashbacks from many different emergency runs. I quickly figured out that the more that I drank, the less I remembered. So, I drank - a lot. I felt like a complete failure for losing the life that I had worked so hard to achieve. So, I drank even more.

One of the groups that I currently facilitate focuses on the co-occurring disorders of PTSD and substance use. These two disorders often develop together because substance use, especially alcohol, works very well to mask the symptoms of trauma. Alcohol is very effective at helping to block out memories and dulling our emotional pain. In fact, it works much better than most prescription medications. One thing I share with my clients is that alcohol and other substances work, until they don’t. Eventually, the solution becomes another problem.

I have been in inpatient treatment three times and have a couple of substance related driving offenses on my record. For about four years I decided to give up driving to avoid getting pulled over and going back to jail. I could give up driving, but I was not ready to give up my relationship with alcohol.

During my years of treatment, all three of my long-term counselors proposed the idea that although my career as a Firefighter was over, I could continue to help others to achieve improved mental health and recovery from substance use. As my confidence in my recovery grew, I decided upon my current path. The empathy and understanding that I have gained from personal experiences is invaluable for assisting others in their journey of recovery from substance use and improving mental health. I am now working toward earning a master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

Again, the main reason that I talk about my story is to help reduce the stigma surrounding substance use and mental health issues. It is still a common perception that those who grapple with substance use and addiction are uneducated, weak willed, and have decided to create their own problem. I disagree.

Some of the most intelligent and strong-willed people I know are in recovery or still actively battling addiction. Many have experienced horrendous trauma in their lives. Some grew up in homes where they learned to deal with their problems through substance use. Others began using socially and gradually developed dependence. Others took prescribed medications as directed by their doctors. Addiction does not discriminate. It transcends education level, intelligence, culture, race, religion, socio-economic status, and any other assumption we can make about who develops addiction to substances.

One of the things that helped me throughout my recovery process has been playing music. I began playing the trumpet when I was 7 years old and picked up the guitar at 15. I was able to take a guitar to one inpatient facility, which was a tremendous asset in the early stage of my recovery. I played it at lunch and in the evening most days. I played for myself, and I played for other residents, which helped to bring our small community closer together.

Playing and listening to music allows us to access parts of our brains that we do not use for most of our daily functions. So, when we play an instrument, we are able to create some distance from our depression, our anxiety, and our desire to use substances, which allows us to change our perspective. We can all provide relief from our symptoms for ourselves - through music. 

It is this knowledge and personal experience that brought me together with KK Fearless and inspired me to found Rock To Recover.  By creating awareness through a community of survivors, we can demonstrate by example that positive change can be achieved with the help of peer support along with mental health and addiction recovery services. 

While we focus on assisting community members who are battling mental health and substance use difficulties, EVERYONE is welcome at Rock To Recover! I hope that you chose to join us and benefit from our community during a sober event with a focus on positive mental health, all while having some fun making and listening to music!